How often do we hear people lament the fact that they aren’t where they want to be in life or that they aren’t smarter or thinner or more successful etc…because of their situation, because of their relationship, because of their boss, their spouse, their children, you get the idea. There are so many reasons that we could come up with and some of them may even be legitimate. Legitimate or not, almost all of these are out of our control. Yet we still focus on them. Yeah, I know, right now you are saying “but I can change this or that or I have control over what happens to me”. The fact is, you really don’t. The only 2 things that you have 100% control of is your ATTITUDE and your EFFORT. This should be our focus.
I get it. So many other things play into developing an epic and significant life. But when we really brake it down, attitude and effort are all about us. 100% us. We control them and no one else. Others can certainly try to hijack these twins and get us off course but we ultimately own the ability to reengage and right the course. In the blink of on eye we can choose joy. We find ourselves wallowing in past hurts or current conflict, we can choose an attitude of love instead of frustration. We become weary of parenting, working or relating, we can check our effort and get back to work.
As the father of 15 children, I have seen my fair share of athletic events, plays and choir concerts. Inevitably someone at some point will have a poor showing. The chin is down, the shoulders slumped and there is a noticeable scent of self acknowledged failure. They knew that they blew it, didn’t have it tonight, choked under pressure. It doesn’t really matter what you call it because it’s real, it happens and that isn’t my main concern at the moment. My main concern is the first sentence that comes out of their mouths. When they were younger it frequently started as:
“The refs really cost us the game.”
“My classmate was talking during the concert and made me mess up”.
My teammate was a ball hog and shot too much”.
Nowadays, they know the drill and my response is pretty straight forward. “Do you have any control over what calls the refs make, whether a classmate is distracting you or whether a teammate shoots too much?”. The answer is always “NO”.
“Focus on what you can control, not on what you can’t”
Focus on the 2 things that you have 100% control over, your ATTITUDE and your EFFORT. Shifting blame is a strategy we use when we have lost control of our attitude and effort. Everything else we do flows from these two areas. Take control of how you see the world, how you feel about the world and how you operate in the world. These skills are ours to use and ours to control. Are you using them to be Mighty?
Be Mighty Stay Mighty